Why it's time to spank our politicians

The geezer has been quiet for months. Mind you, this wasn’t because there aren’t numerous things worth getting really mad about. No, this is because early on, this ole geezer swore to my, our loyal reader(s), we would confine our rants to rude waiters, dumb drivers, teachers who can’t spell, and the like, and wouldn’t sink a toe into the rancid waters of political punditry.

And this has been the reason for the silence.

The ole geezer is as pissed off as ever. Problem is, what’s really been eating my shorts isn’t the death of social graces thanks to the Internet, or the bimbofication of America, or even those darned kids hanging around on my lawn.

So, I apologize in advance to my loyal reader(s). But this is an open letter to our political leaders, penned by The Ole Bitch (otherwise known as my better half).

“Dear House and Senate,

Shame on you. Every one of you is officially grounded. You have been scaring the dickens out of half the country with your bickering over the national debt, and I for one have had enough!

Let’s pretend that the national debt is our household. Which, if you think about it, it is. Now, let’s say we sat down and looked at our budget and the only way we can pay our bills is by consistently increasing the spending limit on our credit cards, so that we’re in effect borrowing from Mastercard to make the minimum payment on Visa.

Didn’t your mothers teach you that you can’t spend more than you have? Credit cards are for emergencies, not groceries. If we’re borrowing so much as a household we have two options: cut our expenses and get a second job.

One side says we have to balance the budget by spending cuts alone. Another side says we have to balance the budget by “eliminating loopholes” which amounts to raising taxes on some people (the wealthy) which amounts to someone in our household having to take on an extra job one day a week. Didn’t any of your mothers teach you about compromise?

It’s time the American people sent you all to bed with no dessert till you can figure out something sustainable. I think the very first budget cuts should be your salaries. Now go do your homework over until you get it right!”

There you have it. Now go find something useful to do. And get the hell off my lawn!